Rob Neyer has been all about the surnacronym game this week, but I have noticed a serious lack of Washington players. So, as a response, I tried to go through much of the starting lineup and create one, using last names, and descriptions that are actually fitting of the players. Here goes:

  • Desmond: Dumb Errors, Supposedly Maturity Often Nourishes Defense
  • Zimmerman: Zippers Infield Marvelously, Mashes Everything, Remains Most Awesome National
  • Morgan: Must Overtly Restrict Getting Always Nabbed
  • LaRoche: Late At Reaching Offensive Crest, Hacks Early
  • Strasburg: Some Throwers Regress After Surgery But Usually Return Great
  • Espinosa: Evokes Some Praise, Insiders Noting Old School Abilities
  • Werth: Washington Envisions Richly Talented Hitter
  • Werth (bonus): Will Eliminate Rizzo’s Treasure Hoard
  • Hernandez: His Endurance Reigns, Naturally Augmented: Never Decided, “Eat Zero”
  • Ramos: Rates As Maybe Offensive Starter
  • Morse: Masher Of Righties? Sounds Equivocal
  • Lannan: Leads, Although Not Netting Analytical Nods
  • Norris: Not Ostensibly Ready, Rankings Indicate Stardom
  • Storen: Speaks Thoughtfully Often Referencing Enigmatic Number1
  • Detwiler: Developing Experience Truly Will Induce Large ERA Reduction
  • Wang: When Active, Numerous Grounders
  • Flores: Flashy Lumber, Often Recovering Elsewhere, Sadly
  • Milone: Mostly Ignored Lefty, Others Neglect Effectiveness

How about a Bryce Harper 2 for 1:

  • Harper: Hits Artic Ropes, Paints Expression Regularly
  • Harper: Hammers All Relevant Pitchers, Earning Recognition

And an extra Strasburg, for when he returns in 2012

  • Strasburg: Star Triumphantly Returns, Achieves Second Burst Using Rare Gas

I’m not gonna lie, Ryan Zimmerman’s took some time. I’d make fun of myself for making the effort to do this, but I already write a stats based baseball blog. What’s the point?

I missed a few big ones, they were just too tough – Tom Gorzelanny and Jordan Zimmermann are more than I can handle at the moment. Feel free to come up with some!

By Charlie